Exploring the Journey: The Search for Meaning and Purpose

As I am walking a trail in a Provincial Park, I find my mind wandering and pondering the why's and the how's people fight the fight at some of the most challenging times in their lives. Working in Emergency Departments, out in the community meeting people where they are at at any given challenging time in their lives, people in my own personal life, I wonder how they keep going when life is throwing them curve balls? What keeps me going? Where does the resiliency come from? Where do they find the strength and the courage?

I think back to some of my own life experiences. I recall asking my dad when he was going through chemotherapy and was so violently ill and not being able to enjoy life as he would have pre-cancer, "Why are you doing this? Why are you accepting this awful treatment?" I was 23 years old at the time, my dad was 50. His response, "They may find my cure tomorrow." He had hope. When I found myself with cancer and a brain tumour at the age of 38, I had two young children at home that deserved to have a mother. I had purpose. It took friends, family, and community to help me get through that-not everyone has that luxury. (That is another blog for another time.)

When I am given the privilege of meeting someone, usually in my work life, who is experiencing suicidal thoughts, some things we consider together is how long have they been feeling this way. They will tell me, the past day or two, or weeks, or months, or years. Then we discuss if they have ever acted on these thoughts or in other words have they ever had a suicide attempt. And in between those attempts or thoughts, what kept them alive? What reasons did they have to live? What and/or who was important to them? What did they have to look forward to then? And what do they look forward to now? (This blog is not about assessing risk nor is it intended to be such.)

Is this really any different from when we are experiencing challenges in our life and struggling to find reason or purpose despite how difficult it currently is, regardless if accompanied by suicidal thoughts?

When I look at this picture I took at a Provincial Park recently I see all the tree roots. I see this massive tree requires roots that are constantly searching for water for survival in order to continue its growth. Are people any different? Is there a constant search for meaning and purpose? Do we need to make more of a valiant effort when facing challenging times? Or is it we, at some level, always have an awareness of our purpose? Maybe people with a higher level of resiliency have a higher level of awareness?

When I was in university I read Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl (1992) (I highly recommend this book!) The author and his wife were both in a Nazi camp. His wife did not survive. Dr Frankl was a psychiatrist and my takeaway from his book was quite impactful. You see, I read this book when my dad had just passed away after a two year fight with cancer. I was in pain. I was 24 years old at the time. I had lost the man I looked up to. I was wondering what the purpose of life was and what was the point. Dr Frankl changed me when I read his book. You see, the message I received from reading his book: he was grateful for the time he had with his wife rather than focusing on the loss of his wife and the suffering he experienced being in a Nazi camp. I had 24 years with my dad, I made the last two years count as best I could as I knew our time together was likely limited. Over the years, I learned to ask myself, what would Dad say? What might he suggest? What might he hope I do? How would he guide me right now if he were here? Pondering these questions provides an opportunity for clarity, for meaning, for purpose. This was a journey and continues to be a journey. The journey is far from over! Life, Living is The Journey and it lasts a lifetime. There is constant learning and evolving. It will be challenging and difficult at times but from my experience, there is often a payoff of some type, something to learn. It may not always be pleasant but it is another life experience that comes with an opportunity to grow.

Pausing, reframing, asking questions, seeking clarity.....searching in the same manner as the roots of the tree searches for water provides the nourishment we need to continue to find purpose in our lives, the reasons to live, the reasons to fight the fight when life is at its most challenging time.

Perhaps we can share some of our purposes or strategies, here, together that may help others to find theirs. Please feel free to share.

If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts please contact your local crisis line. In Simcoe County (Ontario, Canada) 705-728-5044, in the Province of Ontario 988, or 911 in Canada for immediate assistance.

Frankl, V. E. (1992). Man's search for meaning: An introduction to logotherapy (4th ed.) (I. Lasch, Trans.). Beacon Press.